Motherhood.

My life was adequate, interesting, ordered and spontaneous before the plunge. In the very early moments after the plunge, life didnt seem to change. My infant carseat went with me eveywhere. My Love and I once went out on Valentine's with one of my infants in tow. She behaved perfectly. Almost like she wasnt even there.

As time went on though, things got a bit jumbled. My little ones started to take notice of me (love me?) and I became a human target. I have been spit up on, peed on, pooped on, barfed on, yell at, kicked, hit and cried on (sometimes all in the same day!). The love shown to me by my children has ended almost all my telephone conversations with a nagging, "pay attention to me" whine, it has kept me up at night as I watch and listen to their breathing (the coughing, the sniffling, the moaning) and it has jumbled my words as I try to punish one kid but use their sibling's name instead. The love shown to me by my kids has ruined perfectly good evenings with my Love, it has dictated meal plans, it has messied and cluttered my house, and it has pushed me to the brink of desperation.

As well as being their human target, I am their life preserver. On some days I am the only thing they have left. My children cling to me; dont let me out of their sight. The desperation shown takes away my privacy, my time, my ability to get anything accomplished. This desperation cries out to be heard at all the wrong times.

On very rare days I am their superhero (the stars usually have to align for this one to happen). I can take away bumps and bruises with a kiss, I can laugh at all the right moments, I can prolong a nap, I can catch (with lighting speed) a full dinner plate as it cascades off the table, I can rid closets of monsters and I can make homework seem fun.  This rare display of heroics takes away my confidence on days when the superwoman costume refuses to be found and it crushes my spirit when my children refuse to be rescued.

I have bled for my children. I will continue to bleed for my children. I am their Mom. So while I'm at it, I should probably give a shout out to my Mom (my human target, my life preserver and my superhero). Thank you for bringing me to life and for giving me your heart.

Happy Mom's Day.