All the Time in the World.

As I watch for my not-so-little Bundle of Joy to disembark from the school bus my heart runs wild. As my gaze settles my nerves slow down and I wait for her to lock eyes with me. It doesn't happen. She is busy. Busy watching her friends. She barely slows down enough for a hug until she is skipping across the street (c'mon, Mom, the bus has its signals on!) to the park where all her friends seem to be happily swinging and climbing their hearts out.

Didn't they all just get off the bus together? It feels like we are showing up late to the party. I want to run after my Bundle of Joy and ask how Music was today. What did she do at recess? Did she wash her hands? But I am held down by a water bottle and a back pack. Idle hands decide to rifle through the paperwork, looking for some clue.  A piece to the puzzle.

As I look up she is waving goodbye to her friends and running towards me. "My friends leave the park after school so quickly, but we have all the time in the world," she states. She asks me to swing.

We swing.

Hanging in the air together she reminds me that it is picture day tomorrow and that she got to go to Music class today. It is then that I remember I found something for her while on my run earlier that day. When she stops her swing I hide the treasures behind my back and make her guess for a while. I display two acorns for her, a small one and a big one (a Mom and a baby). She is so delighted that she does a spin in the air and a hop skip up the stairs to the monkey bars.

After we are bored with the park we walk up to Acorn Lane and fill a leftover ziplock with bunches of acorns. When her Dad returns home this evening she is so proud to show him the acorns. We worked so hard painting and coloring each individual one with different colors and shapes.

Our lunch found us and we wolfed down two white sweet potatoes (with sour cream of course), pepperoni, strawberries and tomatoes. I didn't stop to think about the nutritional values we just ate what sounded good. Half way through our lunch we decided to finish watching Turbo (DreamWorks).

At 330pm we showed up at my 9 year old Loyal Companion's school with new shoes and socks (picture day tomorrow!) and a bag of popcorn.

Yes, my dear, we have all the Time in the world. So tomorrow, when you jump off the bus and high tail it over to the park to play with friends I will remember why. You are certain (beyond a shadow of a doubt) that I will always be here - that your Mom will always have Time. For you.

In the meantime, you are trying to squeeze in every last second with everyone else. And that is okay. I understand.

Found Space - Nothing to Lose

Sit awhile within the Space afforded.

I am a planner. An organizer. I need all events to go smoothly, as planned. I prepare. I intentionally go over the next day's events so that I am ready before my feet hit the floor the next morning. Most times my organization keeps our family ship afloat and might I dare say, sailing calmly with the breeze.

Before summer had even whispered its name I had curriculum picked out and projects planned for my Littles. The days had been counted and sliced into nice neat packages. 10 weeks of learning the alphabet, math, social studies, science, parks, friends, beaches, reading, hikes, biking and so on. Every day, planned out. A successful summer before it even began.

To be honest though I wasn't looking forward to summer. I wanted it to be clean, precise and then over and back to school. Don't get me wrong, I of course wanted my kids to have a good time and with all my planning they sure as better have fun! But I was already thinking of October. As soon as I finish planning I skip over the present moment and go on to planning the next big hurdle. A glorified tour guide, never really seeing the sights.

Circumstances in life tug on you, try to get you think about things with a different perspective. My not-so-little Bundle of Joy's recent cycle of sickness and all of our Lost Time definitely tried to undo my organization - my clear and concise way of living. But I would always fight back. I had a tight grip on the future and knew what it should look like. I did not want to waste any Time.

So it was quite a surprise to me when I began to look forward to living within the present summer season. I began to listen more attentively to my Little's questions and we engaged in open ended conversations and silly hyperboles. I began to appreciate lazy pancake mornings. I swam with my Littles instead of sitting on the shore looking at my watch. I happily rode a bike, had water squitter battles and looked for treasures with my Littles. Each day there seemed to be Space within Time where I could just be and enjoy - breathe. This found Space was intriguing.

My pre planning Time sequence of events still marched on succinctly this summer however a  new Space opened itself up. Today on our last day of summer we ventured out to Seward Park. There was a schedule to keep however and I knew we had to be back for dinner, showers and early before school bedtimes. After playing at the park, dipping into the lake, picnic ing, and bike riding around the peninsula my Littles and I found ourselves back at the zipline swing. One more time, started adding up to too many times and I started looking at the clock.

"Mom, you should really try this!" my 9 year old Loyal Companion belted out after zipping down and jumping off. I wasn't sure but decided I had nothing to lose and jumped onto the swing. My Littles pushed me out over the ledge and I zipped down, hit to end and swung high into the air. A smile tickled my face. I had figured it out.  I had nothing to lose. In that instant I realized how much Time I have lost to planning, preparing and coordinating. Wasted days organizing the next days.

In that instant, on the zipline swing, I felt so sad and envious of my Lost Time. I was angry at myself for selfishly using my living days to plan my not-yet-lived days. Not much more could be lost.

I found the Space within Time to line up again for the zipline swing. My Littles and I zipped over and over again for we had everything to gain.

Finding the Space within Time to live within the present moment is important. We can get so caught up in the planning of our lives that we never really live our lives. We have everything to gain from stealing back the present moment from Lost Time and carving out Space to live - to breathe.