Memorials and humanity

I am catching a plane to Minnesota this weekend to be with family and memorialize my Grandma, who passed away bluntly and unexpectedly a couple of months ago. My mom informed me today that there will be a time during her lakeside service to share thoughts about Grandma (GiGi, as my kids refer to her, for Great Grandma)  A memory, an appreciation, an endearing trait, a funny story. Keep it short, she said, I'm sure there will be many who will want to talk.

How to memorialize a life in such succinct terms? She had so many rabbit trails, pathways and journeys that I was not privy to.  What I to decide share at her service might not be correct or important.  There were so many facets to her life, to my life, to all of our lives. Our stories are long and they have so many unexpected patterns. What is the sum of it all?

So here it goes.

What I appreciate about Grandma was her absolute insecurity in herself and her place on this Earth and her ability to mask this insecurity with an amazing self confidence in all areas of her life. This has taught me that the conflict between my most deplorable weakness and my most awesome strength, that wages in me every minute and hour of my days, is the purest definition of humanity. It is within this battle that I am chiseled and ironed out in the hopes of one day reaching my final conclusion. My story may take many unexpected turns and twists but it is my story. Mine alone. Mine to write. When I finally reach my last page and close my book all I can hope is that I am happy with how I engaged in battle.

All of us are on this same path. We are all battling our own hostiles. Give grace.

I love you Grandma. Thank you for teaching me this lesson.